Biggest Loser (tv edition)

Did anyone watch last night? My first instinct is to trash Joelle like no other! But then I think realistically and realize, hello... there might be a tad bit of Joelle in me (yikes, did I just say that?).

Here's the thing: Joelle totally sucked as a friend and a teammate last night. Well, actually since the season began but really really sucked last night. She expected her teammate (Carla) to do everything for her... Joelle just watched Carla workout literally! And what does Joelle have to show for it? A zero pound weight loss, while Carla lost 9 lbs! My first thought is hello, Joelle is all about herself and what a jerk for being the reason her team (I use the term loosely bc Joelle is not a good team member) got voted off! On the other hand, Joelle is struggling. I think she wants to lose the weight but doesn't want to commit to loosing the weight. I think she has some issues that if she stayed longer maybe Bob could get out of her?? But then again how many millions of people wanted to be in her position- to actually be cast on the show and to see her give up so easily... frustrating!

So now that I write this I'm thinking.. really I'm not like Joelle at all. How can I change my mind so quickly? Well, I think Joelle and I are alike because we both know we NEED to loose the weight, but what is holding us back? What is stopping me from eating right, exercising, and just getting my butt in gear all together? I wish I knew! And obviously Joelle is having a hard time with the whole motivation thing as well I think... well, I think she has more problems than that, but that's a good start. We differ in the that it hurts me to let someone down, I just cant do it! Having a partner or someone I feel somewhat responsible for keeps me going. If I knew my actions prevented someone else from loosing weight I would be doing whatever whenever until OUR goals were met. Am I just realizing I don't have the self respect I deserve? Am I not making myself my #1 priority? I may have just hit the nail on the head! Now, what to do to change that?

Sorry this post took this turn but you might have to get used to it if you are going to continue to read this blog to put it bluntly. My goal is to slowly (but surely) express my thoughts and feelings about many topics, mainly my struggle with weight.

Back to the show: Yellow team, Aubrey got up and started saying how she has gained muscle and endurance and was ok with her 2 lb loss. Well the trainers jumped all over her saying that is crap and that she needs to fess up to the fact that she didn't work as hard as she should or eat the right things.. which she admitted later in the show. And I couldn't agree more! I've said it before and I'll say it again- I'm not eating right, exercising or anything else to help myself so why should I be surprised I'm still fat?! Hello!

So other matters~ I really like the brown team and do feel bad for Ron but hope they can stick it out until they go to individual weigh ins so that Mike can stay longer and get the attention he needs. I love the pink team! They have so much heart and determination and isn't Shanon just the cutest thing! Green team- Laura needs a good kick in the butt, what a baby! I love Tara! I hate the phrase, but "you go girl"! Blue teams kicks butt~ I really like the cousin that just came back, he has a goal and is going to destroy it by the finale I think! The update on silver... they haven't spoken? I'm not surprised but just goes to show how awful Joelle is being. She let this ruin her friendship with her bff! And then couldn't deal with it so walked away (again). And the results show.. she really hasn't lost that much weight since being kicked off, Carla on the other hand~ doing good! Cant wait to see them on the finale!